Hiatus and Back to the Path

Hiatus and Back to the Path

I wrote this a week ago and did not publish because I was so empty I was afraid to share.  However, as this sits in the past and I celebrate placing it there, I want to encourage all out there who have hit the wall.  Empathetic relating to your situation has brought me to openly share my personal detour off the path. 

“ A hiatus is a pause in which nothing happens or a gap where something is missing.”   Definition provided by Collins English Dictionary.  Yet life does not exactly have a pause button.

It may be incorrect to state that I’ve been on hiatus, as so much has actually happened.  However, there has been a gap, a “ginormous” gap where something is missing.  And that something is me.  I have suddenly found myself missing.  Missing feelings, missing thoughts, missing a connection to my center.  Life’s happenings appear to have executed full domination creating a major gap in my ability to function on a functioning level.

Needless to say, this gets in the way of productive energy and creativity.  The standstill is rock solid and difficult to penetrate.  I stand motionless and empty.”

Because I was searching for words of encouragement and did not have the strength to ask for them, I present words for you without you having to ask.

This soon shall pass.  Momentary burnout and “this” seemingly helpless state will produce strength in you beyond what you imagined.  You may question how this emptiness ricochets into a strong force that moves you along your destined and individually created path.

Every moment has its place.  Every place has its time.  And the path waits for you.

Your path.  The path of your life.  A unique path that is sometimes self-dictated, sometimes courageously followed, and sometimes simply faithfully followed, moving you in a forward direction.

This is the path you must stay on.  This is the path you were born to follow.  And in my most recent experience, I have learned it is a path you cannot always control the direction of, but one you can accept and embrace with positivity assured that forward is the only way to go. Gracefully acknowledge that detours and an unexpected hiatus only delays the inevitable direction.  The direction of your dreams.

I encourage you today.  You will recover.  Stay on your path.  Let your heart guide you.

©Erika K Rothwell

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Sea of Hope

Sea of Hope

As the waves crashed against the shore, the sea reminded me to focus on recovery as I listened to a melodious tune of “just be”.  I breathed in the rhythm of the tide as I was lulled into a slumberous state, embracing the unusual space between me and an incessant drive to accomplish a myriad of things within the time constraint of one indeterminate life span.

A week of revival in an exotic location and absence from the work of writing restored my soul.  Focusing on the movement of my thoughts, rather than the thoughts themselves, reignited my desire to bring life to a blank page.

I learned we cannot always dictate the unexpected twists and turns along the path of life but we can learn to appreciate the tempo of life’s waves.  As the rhythm of the tides nourishes life below the surface in its repetitive cycle of cleansing, hope energizes us with a promise of restoration, urging us to never give up no matter how hopeless the situation seems.  

My tale of love restored in the pain of loss follows.

A gift was once given to a young girl who dreamed of a knight to fight her battles. He came to save her from a plight brought upon her by a self-righteous love-sucking empire. With his worldly weapons, he disintegrated the threat against her. She loved him with all her heart. And then…

The day came when she no longer remembered what he had done for her. She complained incessantly and took each day with him for granted. When he left that morning to explore the underworld of the sea, she never imagined that he would not return.

In the search for him, futility took over as powerful waves of wrenching pain squeezed her heart. Her tears turned to torrents as she cried out for him. Her life would never be the same without his love. And she knew in that moment that her gift could be mercilessly taken away.

As the search team reminded her to retain hope, she panicked thinking only the worst. Every man remotely resembling her knight from a distance materialized into someone else as she came closer, launching her further into a sea of devastation.

She beseeched God, feeling responsible for his disappearance as she had neglected her love for him.

Eventually, she was led to the place on the shore where he had last been seen before he entered the water. She looked upon the site wanting to believe the mirage that appeared before her with the little hope she had left.

Magically, in that instant, her gift was returned as he turned to her with a smile and outstretched arms and said, “There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Dedicated to My Knight – I will always love you.

-Erika K Rothwell

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Step Back

Step Back

Sometimes we just forget to take a step back in order to move forward with intention.  It is in the space between what is, what was, and what will be that we gain the objectivity to make the next plan. 

The business of life clouds our intentions and our way, and the storms can sometimes blind us as we run for cover, unable to intellectually navigate, using survival instincts only.  When we slow the pace, just for a moment in time;  a weekend, a day, or even an hour, recovery happens.

As writers, deeply enmeshed in a world of our own making and subjectively critiquing our work, we can experience burnout.  Depleting our storage with forced extractions of thought, molded by perfectionism, will never quite satisfy us like simply allowing the free flow of our inner spring to fill the page.

And yet, that spring can dry up.  So I embrace the need to step back and recharge to gather perspective.  I am content knowing the work is still being done beneath the surface. 

-Erika K Rothwell

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