It is Day 6 of my hope journey.  The struggle exists to continue focusing on hope.  There was a time in my life when I forgot to hope, gave up on dreaming, and fell down a deep dark rabbit hole.  

There appeared to be no escape.  My fate was sealed.  I was a horrible person who deserved no remorse.  The judgment I dealt myself was harsher than imaginable.  I lost hope because I forgot to believe in a power stronger than myself.

My power ran out.  There was no battery or charger.  Energy could not sustain my desire to fight.  There appeared to be no me and I was hopeless.

Love brought me back to hope.  And hope brought me back to believing that we are all loved, and every day is a new day to hope.  We are not alone.

The more I tried to control my life, the more I lost control.  And so I learned it is from a place of humble acceptance of what exists that hope is discovered.   I’m here for a reason other than my survival.  My gifts were granted me to be shared with others. 

This does not require grandiose or newsworthy actions.  It may mean only a smile directed to another at the right time, or maybe a kiss on the forehead to a loved one who may be suffering from a cold.  The importance of the question, “What can I do to help you?” Is too often minimized, as we overlook the opportunity to generate hope in our daily lives.

Sometimes the strength to survive exists in supplying others what they need while trusting and believing that our needs will be met in the process.

I rose from the ashes of surrender because loved ones didn’t give up on me, and so I didn’t give up on me either…for them.

P.S. I still struggle on a daily basis to let go of my need to control events and others to feel safe and secure, but my journey of hope reminds me of what is possible when we are able to just let go and hope for the best.

-Erika K Rothwell