Doubt lingers, in the non-relenting questions. No one is asking but we feel we need to answer to them. Are we strong enough? Are we authentic enough? Are we happy enough? Are we deep enough? Are we caring enough? The list is endless.
And, we flounder in the midst of the chaos of our lives. Outside circumstances, situations, and inward weaknesses at times come together to form a perfect storm. We must find shelter, but where, when we run from ourselves?
The truth is not found under a tree, in a book, or in a store. You cannot dig, read, or buy your way to knowing the truth. This eternal knowing, the truth, is your own heart set free. Freed from the entanglement of judgments, inner criticism, and even at times self-loathing.
A heart that is exposed to all the the elements of unpredictability and uncertainty, can only survive when connected to the giver of all life. It is through this love, we exist. It is so simple, yet our minds refuse to accept these four letters offered in a three-word sentence, I l-o-v-e you.
Some, like me, attempt to write through the paradox alive in both the unexplainable and the simple by adding creative layers of complexity and evocative expressions. Processing the pain of doubt in prose, poetically meandering within walls constructed from insecurity, and even bringing fantastical adventures to life on a page, all in an attempt to invite the power of love’s possibilities for myself, and others who need to feel it.
And yet, I deny its very existence again, with my doubting thoughts, and actions.
TO DOUBT, IS TO DENY LOVE
Who I am is not as important as who you are. Yet, who I am, is who I’m meant to be for you. And that is the greatest irony of all. To love is to be loved. To be loved is to love. We follow the greatest I am. And the greatest of these is love….
To truly know love is to crush doubt at its source. Doubt cannot stand in the wake of such power.
Through the valley of doubts, we are carried, but the ultimate test is in our acceptance of the ride. The path is not always clear. So when the way forward appears, do we rather chose off-roading? In the language of a novelist, do we dream up debris in our way, or villains lurking waiting to attack? Or rather do we wear a protective cloak to keep us safe from predators and guide others safely on their way? The stories we tell ourselves and others are endless, yet all matter to the maker.
We may conclude that distractions stand in the way of progress on the journey. But our truth is discovered along the way. Through the trials, the fascinations of our mind and acceptance in our hearts, as it begins to align itself with the source. The path of discovery is not for the faint of heart.
It is fraught with dangers, discomfort, and decisions. It is not a path to, but a way through, the messiness of the over-complicated worlds we have created within our lives. Our valiant efforts to save those worlds, with carefully crafted words, often bring us back to ourselves. The place from which, it appears, we must begin the journey over and over again.
Yet, the center of our world beats with a striving, a centralized theme to help us get stronger, better, happier, deeper. Until that day when we arrive, which we never really do in this world.
We can only follow through, on the Path of Universal Love.
From a new route down my well-trodden path,
©Erika K Rothwell
P.S. I doubted whether I should post this.