Inside of me exists a longing, a creative nudge to keep on writing. I read posts and writings from my past, and I crave the space and haven’t created within those words. Words that build a fortress sheltering my heart from the storm.
The storm of emotions swirling beneath the surface of a finely tuned appearance seeking only accolades from outside sources. Where the truth lays buried, in the heart of my matter. The voice from a powerful source strives to reach me in this space inviting me to connect and seek glory outside of myself. And so, I reach for servanthood.
Within that servanthood, I feel a loss and resentment builds. Self imposed restrictions keep me hidden. The longing within my heart is to glorify the one who granted me the gift to speak and yet I fail to align my purpose with a greater calling.
Within my lack, I search my heart to discover the path that could lead me there. To a place where I may never arrive. For it is the self in myself that keeps me stuck.
However, when I turn me into you, the path takes a turn toward brighter days. For it is me sharing and speaking to you that matters to me. I forget the purpose of my writing to help me help you. For I have suffered like you. I have pulled myself out of a black hole so I can tell you that you can do it. I exist so maybe I can share what really matters.
And what really matters is in the heart of your matter.
-Erika K Rothwell