Hope – In Ashes of Love

Hope arises from the ashes, a time to reframe and rebuild.  

Love begins as a flame that burns so bright.  Eventually, there are only embers, flickers of warmth lighting up what remains.  

When we are left with the cold ashes of a fully disintegrated relationship, only hope can move us forward.  Hope for second-chances, hope for change, and hope for a new life motivates our steps in the right direction.

To risk love is to risk being hurt.  The paradox that exists within relationships can send ripples of sorrow our way.  But love is not supposed to hurt us, so why all the pain?

We were not born to live another person’s life.  Yet once we fall in love, the connection makes it difficult to recognize where our boundaries end and the other’s begin.  At times we may even feel lost to ourselves, fully engrossed in our loved one’s drama, leaving little time for our own development.  

Yet why do we fight against freeing ourselves from a destructive cycle, even when possessive and dependent actions suck the life out of us?  

It is only by letting go of the illusion of what could be, allowing what is, and accepting we are powerless over another’s choices in life that heals what is left of a suffering relationship.  We can make a choice.  When we stop responding to the narratives of the past, we find strength within the power of adversity.  As the poet, Rumi said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

If and when we have embraced our inability to fix the other person and the embers burn out, we will know it is time to move on.  The suffering is done.  The closure is painful yet peaceful, and we must believe hope will light another fire when it’s time.  For Rumi also said, “where there is ruin, there is hope for treasure.” 

– Erika K Rothwell

Disclaimer: This was written for the loved ones in my life facing breakups and heartbreak. Empathy from my past ignited the rawness of this post.

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10 replies »

  1. Words cannot express how important it is to invest in a relationship but more importantly making those personal sacrifices for that relationship. Talking about “I” or “Me” is not healthy. Talking about “We” and “Us” is the direction to focus on. Have you invested in your relationship today?

    • Absolutely. When we invest in our relationships, we don’t risk losing someone we love because it remains healthy. There are no demands, and freedom that comes from loving without owning or possessing. Or better said, It’s when we stand as islands, that we truly feel the connection of the water.

  2. Wow! Such a powerful post… THANK YOU! “It is only by letting go of the illusion of what could be, allowing what is, and accpting we are powerless over another’s choices in life…” I so needed to hear this right now! It is EXACTLY my struggle right now in and where I’m at in my journey for the future! It has taken a long time for me to recognize it is time to move on! <3

    • Thank you so much! And I am so glad my words could help you. My hope journey began with my desire to share my struggles and help others along the way. My thoughts are with you as you embark on your journey into the future!🌞Erika

      • Your post is exactly what I needed to read/hear at this particular time in my life! I quoted part of your post in my post scheduled to publish on Thursday (I hope you read it; I don’t know how to “tag” you on the post?)

        You (and others) have come into my life when I most needed them. It really is an amazing thing to have happened to me/in my life! These people, you included, are what has given me the strength to move forwards in healing instead of hiding my greatest heartache. I thank you for this strength!! <3

      • That is the highest compliment. Thank you for quoting me. Yes I will definitely read it. I will send you some information that I use when I quote another blogger and how to embed links if you are interested in doing that. Hopefully it helps. Also, I applaud your strength to move forward toward healing!

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