When the collective issues in life form the perfect storm, I feel my energy being used to feed the pulsating anxiety. Taking a simple deep breath relieves the pressure building within the captive walls of responsibility.
I don’t think I can write today. My brain is running its last leg of the marathon. Time to submit to my inability to rise above it all, and accept that words may not come.
The years have trained me, taught me, and honed my skills in coping. However, some days knock the wind clear out of you.
And now, a memory is awakened from that precise feeling.
No matter how I want to give in to the self-pity courting me all day, I recognize there must be a lesson buried deep in the mess.
The love of a savior, cannot be denied. It exists in the actions of humans who act selflessly, and quickly to save another without judgment. On a grand scale, our paramedics and firefighters live exemplifying this self-sacrificing spirit. And it extends to surprising moments as life plays out on the field.
Follow me on a flashback to the baseball field of my high school. I may have thought something of myself then; I believe I was seeking the attention of certain boys. I was with friends, unsuspectingly laughing and socializing, while the game plays on, too busy to look up. And thus, I didn’t see him running at me.
He lunged at me sending me sailing off the bench, onto the ground and landed on top of me. He was rather bulky and from my immature perspective clearly nerdy. All I could do was scream, “Get off me, now! What are you doing? Eewww!” I may have used some other derogatory language as well.
I was devastated by the embarrassment. He stuttered as he tried to explain. Briskly, I nixed his plea for reconciliation and sent him away in my anger. And so it was left to my friends to run through the instant replay with me, and share the story behind the scene.
There was a screeching baseball aiming straight for my head. Miraculously this boy, the target of my recent malice, raced to reach me, knocking me to the ground to save me, as the ball sailed unhindered overhead. Even now, I shudder when I think of what could have happened if that 75 mph ball actually met my head. Yet, at that time, my thankless disgust was all he received for his heroic act.
This boy didn’t consider his ego, how I would react, or even his own safety. He didn’t even know me. His heroistic nature sparked his leap to rescue me from a dire situation.
Saviors exist in everyday life modeling the ultimate saving grace. And recognizing my blessings even today, with humble gratitude, I thank those in my life who have come to my aid, even if undeserved.
While I sit here staring at the words I’m typing on my computer display, wondering why I can’t write today, I finally look up.
-Erika K Rothwell